I am that dickhead in the kitchen
Giving wine to your best girl's glass
I am the amateur pornographer
Unpleasant publisher by hand
Not here, not here
Heroic acts of man
See the stumbling pinstripe trouser
The flecks of sick on an office shoe
Part of the fatty British average
That lives in the houses around you
Not here, not here
Heroic acts of man
Let's all crowd round the cowering body
Throw stocky fingers, bricks and stones
Let's promise every girl we marry
We'll always love them, when we probably won't
While a knight in shitty armour
Rips a drunk out of her dress
One man tears into another
Hides a coward's heart in a lion's chest
Man, he breeds although he shouldn't
He's breeding just because he comes
Acts the father for a minute
Until the worst instincts return
Not here, not here
Heroic acts of man
I have never wanted more to be your man
And build a house around you
But I am just like all the rest of them
Sorry, selfish, trying to improve
I'm here, I'm here
Not heroic but I try.